This writer has a close friend who has come to prefer bisexual women in fact, not just as occasional lovers but as mates, for the simple reason that they are more open to sexuality and experimentation than most women. They may not always go for what he asks, but he truly feels that they will consider it without any fear that they'll think he's some kind of pervert who should be spied on by the authorities at once. These are actually thoughts shared by many men nowadays. We find that, as a whole, these kind of women tend to be more understanding of our needs and desires, since they've already opened themselves up to the joys of fulfilling hidden desires of their own. They also become more forthright about other long-held desires they had been afraid to share with you, or in fact with anyone, before.
When asked why they would choose both men and women as sexually fulfilling partners, most bisexual or 'bi-curious' women (women who would never seriously consider a real relationship with another woman, but are still interested in what "the other side" has to offer sexually) tend to say, as one bi woman put it to a pollster taking a recent survey of preferences, that "men have the looks and drive, but women have the touch." It is this elusive touch that bi women talk about again and again as being the real determining factor in opening up their sexual avenues to women as well as men. It's a soft selling point that, if used intelligently, moderately, and with taste, may influence that lady in your life into at least considering this as a possibility.
Another thing to consider from our point of view is the frank reality that a woman who experiences the joys of a beautiful woman herself actually seems to begin understanding the man's needs and desires better than she had before. She's begun to understand, in the most real way possible, what it is about the touch, feel and taste of a woman that can often seem to take over a man's mind. Most women will tell you (if they're really honest) that this ability for a man to 'lose himself' in the woman he's desiring and enjoying is the essential ingredient for being what they consider to be a good lover. Once they experience what it's like from the side of seducing and giving pleasure to a woman themselves, its joys and its own problems, women do often tend to become more understanding of the 'male' side of the equation, since they've now experienced much of what we experience themselves (we assure you this is usually the case).
Now, if we're going to be totally honest with our readers, we have to point out another reason this form of sexual experimentation has met with such acceptance and desirability among so many variants of men in recent years: while it is an honest heterosexual turn-on to see two members of the opposite sex enjoy each other's charms, watching a woman - especially one a man knows so well as his wife or girlfriend - open up to this practice can be an excellent way for some men to project their own latent homosexual desires and curiosities onto their mate. After all, what better way to live out a desire without really having to engage in it or live up to its consequences than to project that want onto the one closest to you? It's probably not the main reason most of us find it so attractive, but it's no doubt added to the incredible popularity of threesomes in recent years.
Which leads us into another fact most reports never bother to bring up: if you decide to begin asking the little woman to share her bed (and you) with another woman, and if you're especially interested in seeing her experience the touch and taste of another woman herself, don't be terribly surprised if she eventually begins asking for a threeway with you and another man. Remember, this desire to experience more than one sex partner - and, to many women, even the desire to see two members of the same sex 'get it on' - is often as strong for them as it is for any man who wishes to enjoy two hot women at once. So don't be surprised if she at least mentions that she'd like to experience a threeway from the other end as well. We're not trying to scare anyone here, but if we don't mention all that might conceivably happen once this Pandora's Box is opened, we won't be doing our job.
What to do? Don't call it off just yet - you can be a straight man who simply shares your lady with another straight man, remember. If you're not too uncomfortable sharing her, the idea of her enjoying a man at each end may be the very thing that has her saying 'yes' to that second woman for you - and possibly for her as well. The important thing is to calmly tell her and anyone else you're bringing in that you're simply heterosexual, and that you're not interested in anything from any man who shares her with you. Do that, and you frankly should have nothing to fear. In fact, several men claim that sharing their woman with another man, watching her please him as you please her or merely look on, has an eroticism all its own.
But remember guys - this is not a TV show, this is you and your woman. Things aren't going to instantly work themselves out in an hour. Is she really secure enough in her relationship with you to bring another woman into the mix? What happens if this new woman, for whatever reason, makes you more wild than you've ever been with her? What if you're simply a better lover with the new woman? What if the new woman is seen by your lady as being prettier or sexier than she is? If you bring another man in for her, are you really ready to see her with another man? Is she really ready to watch you explore another woman's most secret parts right in front of her? And what about her with another woman - is she merely turned on by the concept, by the naughty idea of having sex with another woman, but simply doesn't feel she's really bisexual, or that she even possesses any real desire to engage in the actual act? Will she feel pressured to do something she really doesn't want to do when the moment comes? How do you know?
The essential thing to remember is that sex is neither a disassociated, simple 'emotional' experience or - as some people nowadays mistakenly suggest - a mere physical engagement. It's one of the few matters in our lives that always employs the whole person, physically and emotionally; if either part fails to be involved or is for some reason ignored, what should be a brilliant experience will quickly turn into a disaster before you know it. Therefore make sure, when the time comes, that's she's as ready for this as you are.
Consider a post we've pulled down from a husband and wife who started their own small swinger's club: sex date.
We have spent many hours talking to couples who have wanted to join the swinging lifestyle. In these chats we have probably spent as much time talking people out of the lifestyle as into it. It takes a special relationship to be successful and happy in this. A couple has to be secure in each other - and more importantly, in themselves personally - in order to accept another "lover" into their marriage or relationship. If there is even the slightest bit of self-doubt in your ability to please your spouse or girlfriend physically and mentally you have a recipe for disaster. Many couples have come to see us hoping to "fix" something in their relationship; this will not happen. You need to be stable and secure before you can introduce another person or couple into your life. But if you have the right ingredients, introducing new people into your bedroom can be very erotic and a great enhancement to your life and relationship.
After several years together you tend to lose some of the romance. Seeing your spouse being treated as a sexually desirable person by someone else can open your eyes and bring some of it back, also he/she will regain or reinforce their confidence in themselves. [If you do get to] the bedroom, there are so many things you can gain from this experience if you approach it in the proper manner.