Black Women Looking For White Men
Black Women For White Men
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Sidney represents a quiet revolution taking place among some black women. For years, they’ve complained about the shortage of eligible black men. Now they’re no longer content to vent on “Oprah.” If Mr. Right happens to be white, more are willing to cross the color line.
“I’m not going to sit on a porch in a rocking chair, all alone at 80 years old because of color,” says Wanda Dunn, a 37-year-old Stone Mountain Web designer. “I don’t see it as a turning away from black men but as expanding my options.”
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When it comes to interracial dating, people have traditionally focused on the taboo nature of black men dating white women. Yet statistics show that more black women are becoming involved with white men.
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of black female/white male marriages remained relatively static between 1960 and 1980, increasing from 26,000 to 27,000. But by 2000, the number had jumped to 80,000.
Images of black women pairing with white men are now common in popular culture as well. Commercials and music videos are full of such couples. Halle Berry recently won an Oscar for her controversial role in “Monster’s Ball,” a film in which she plays a waitress who becomes involved with a white man. Berry also played the girlfriend of a white man in another film, “Swordfish.” And Angela Basset played the girlfriend of Robert De Niro in “The Score.”
Robinson, who has dated three white men, says they’re more romantic and willing to go on dates like walking in the park or visiting a museum.
“I haven’t found any black men trying to take me to the museum,” she says. “I wish they would make an effort other than, ‘Let’s go and have a drink’ or ‘Let’s go to the Red Lobster for all-you-can-eat crab legs on Monday.’ ”
Another complaint about black men involves insecurity. Black beauty-shop conversations ring with the same complaints from black women who say many black men can’t handle an independent, professional black woman who often has more formal education than they do.
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Flowers, the Atlanta coordinator with Pre-Dating Events, says a black man backed out of a relationship with her after she purchased a home and he learned that she had a college degree, something he had not earned.
“He said I didn’t need him,” she says. “It blew me away. I never could get him to see that [his lack of a college degree] was not a hindrance to me.”
Black men have traditionally shrugged off these criticisms from black women, saying they are too demanding or obsessed with status and money.
“Even though the numbers may be in Atlanta men’s favor, that doesn’t make black women in Atlanta any less choosy,” says Keith Aikens, a 36-year-old single black man. “Men still have to do a lot to prove themselves worthy.”
Aikens, of College Park, says he sympathizes with black women who complain black men don’t take them on cultural outings, such as to a museum.
“On the other hand,” he says, “how many women are suggesting a museum instead of simply giving in and moving on to the next guy?”
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